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No One’s Aging

…so I thought I was totally down with my age –then I find THIS in my inbox…. mind you I had a memory of an ambien induced online shopping binge from the night before…and apparently I raided my fave online vitamin store (yes,pause,vitamin store…)Puritan’s Pride…(no Turkey Day pun it’s like the best place to buy vitamins…) the email said thanks for ordering your package has been SHIPPED:

000330 STRESS B W/C-500MG TIME RELEAS Qty= 2
012547 WRINKLE RAIDERS CREAM Qty= 2
011805 DMAE CREAM Qty= 2
001840 ALOE VERA BUBBLE BATH Qty= 2
001024 VIT E PEEL-OFF FACIAL MASK Qty= 2
005470 CHAMOMILE EYE CREAM Qty= 2
012561 WRINKLE RAIDERS CAPS Qty= 2
002700 COLLAGEN AND PLACENTA CREAM Qty= 6
006780 SUPER NAILS Qty= 2
001831 EXTRA STR.WATER PILL TAB Qty= 2
069448 ZEROTOX WRINLE DEFENSE SYSTEM Qty= 1

I would like to put this in perspective –I don’t even wear facial cream. I went to the shop to purchase Fish Oil –do you see what is missing from that list…that’s right fish oil –DUDE I ordered something called placenta cream –and not just one –in an ambien stuper I purchased 6 placenta type products…

I’ll be right back I have to find out what it means when a product comes equipped with a placenta because last time I checked that was reserved for fetuses…they are stealing fetus food for my wrinkle cure…

OK back…let’s take it one step to the direction I was least expecting to go…sheep placenta –dude I bought 6 tubes of sheep placenta for my mug…

and collagen on the skin what was my theory on that one…I can’t afford to get it implanted and or shot into me on a regular basis I know if it’s diluted beyond reason and I rub it on my skin add a little sheep placenta…

Dude I better start getting ID’to purchase milk and cookies after applying this stuff to my face…there has to be a good umbilico cord joke out of this blog…

PS I purchased a WATER pill –A pill filled with water….

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